Dear Gabriele Anderson,
You don't know me (in fact, we've never even met in person), so you're probably not aware that I have a pretty massive crush on you. You're cute, good at what you do (read: running super-fast), and, from interviews I've seen, seem like a young woman who, if you will pardon the expression, has her shit together.
While you almost certainly aren't aware of my crush on you, you may be aware that viral romantic interactions are sort of in right now (see this link for details). As such, I've decided to capitalize on this trend, and ask you out, but in the wussiest way possible: by letting the internet do it for me.
So, umm, Gabriele Anderson, will you, uhh, like, go on a date with me?
If you see this and are against it or on the fence, well, I definitely understand that. After all, the internet is full of some pretty bizarre dudes hiding behind faceless user names, so how can you know I'm not a weirdo--some kind of con artist, a serial killer, or (worst of all) an amateur mime? However, in order to assuage your fears and prove to you that I am not, in fact, any of those things (or any kind of weirdo other than the kind that attempts to ask you out virally), and am instead the kind of person you would want to go on a date with, I intend to use this space to, over the next few days, tell you why you should go out with me. So stay tuned, and hopefully be convinced.
Best regards,
A Dude You Should Date
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