Pop Sensation Katy Perry, Will You Go On A Date With Me?

Dear Katy Perry,
Let me take you back to a long ago, simple time: the summer of 2010.  And let me tell you a story from that time--an allegory, a not particularly subtle allegory, but an allegory nonetheless, and a classic one at that, maybe an archetypal one, even--about a girl--a pop-star--and a boy--a summer camp counselor--and how the summer camp counselor boy heard that pop-star girl's hit summer anthem--"Left Coast Lay-Deez," we'll call it--and from that moment on realized his deep and everlasting love for the pop-star girl, a love which he proved by spending nearly 95% of a solo drive from New England to the Deep South channel surfing radio stations trying to find Katy Per--err, I mean the pop-star girl's singles on the airwaves* (there was a second single by this point, too,which we'll call "Young Figments").  To this day the summer camp counselor boy--now gainfully employed--and the pop-star girl--still poppy, still a star--have never dated, met, or even really had their lives in any way altered by the other's existence in any meaningful way other than the summer camp counselor boy enjoying it when, in the pop-star's music videos, things shoot out of her breasts as if they are sparklers or whipped cream dispensers.  The end.

Like I said, that story is nearly an archetype--but only nearly.  But you know how the archetypal version of the story ends?  With the boy and the girl going and grabbing a bit to eat at a Thai place and then going to see a movie at a second-run theater.  So, pop icon and breast-shooter-outer Katy Perry, I think it's past time for you and me to make our story archetypal**, put aside our massive personal, cultural, and socioeconomic differences, and go on a date. How about it, then, Katy Perry--you might not be a teenaged anymore, but it's still my dream to go on a date with you.  So will you go on a date with me?

Sincerely,
A Dude You Should Date

*the other 5% of the time was spent listening to Elton John, but only because ClearChannel makes him pretty much unavoidable and the summer camp counselor boy thinks "Rocket Man" is a pretty great song.
**this may be as good a time as any to acknowledge that I've never really had a firm understanding of what the term "archetype" really means--I mean, I get it, but what differentiates an archetype from a common story other than personal preference, context, and maybe an appearance of a certain kind of story in a major literary work?