Dear Mila Kunis,
I saw Black Swan the other week and thought your performance was great. Especially the part where you accused Natalie Portman of having a "lezzie fantasy" about you, and then asked her if you were any good. It was pretty much the most adorable thing that anyone has ever said that has given me a hard-on.
So, after I saw that Black Swan, I kinda developed a little (read: large-to-quite-large) crush on you. It's important to note that this crush, while certainly silly and quixotic, is also authentic and deep, and exists entirely independently of the fact that I associate you with that heartbreaking wench of a co-star of yours, Natalie Portman, who you hardcore smooched (and then some!) in the aforementioned film. (And, not that I'm being intrusively or creepily harping on this, or anything--and this question is not to in any way to diminish how authentic and deep my crush on you is--but kissing Natalie had to have been pretty awesome, right?)
So, anyway, Mila (is it okay if I call you Mila?), I think we should go out--wanna go on a date with me some time? I know a couple places I think you would like, and, girl, you know I'll treat you right. So whaddaya say? Holler back some time, then we'll figure out the details of the first night of the rest of your life.
Best regards,
A Dude you Should Date
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